Let Her Be
by 9r7g5h
Summary: After it all, let her be happy.


**AN** : I wrote this in little chunks throughout the day while at work, and honestly? I wasn't paying attention while I was writing, just trying to get it all out while still getting real work done, and then I read through it after work to edit it and I almost cried. Just...let her be happy.

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own Xena.

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So we know from "The Xena Scrolls" and the existence of Janice that Gabrielle, eventually, has another child.

Just...just let her know exactly how she got pregnant. Whether it's because she falls in love again with someone else, or because she has a one night stand with some guy with long black hair and blue eyes because, for one night, she wants to pretend, just let her know. Let her know the sire's name, where they met, the details of the inn they spent the night in- just let her know, so she never has to look at another child and wonder where they came from.

Let the pregnancy be easy. If Gabrielle has to do this alone, with no one there to give her back rubs or promise it'll all be ok, no one to hold her and promise that things will be alright because they both love her child as much as they love each other, at least let it be easy. No one trying to steal her baby's soul, no one trying to kill her or her child, and nothing weird with the baby itself. Let it be a smooth, normal pregnancy that leaves her at ease with the world instead of terrified every moment. If Gabrielle has to be pregnant alone, at least let it be easy for her.

And when it's finally time for her to give birth, let her be comfortable and surrounded by loved ones. Let her go to Lila and Sarah when her movements start to slow and her stomach grows, let Sarah send for Eve, let Eve find Virgil and Beowulf and everyone else who truly loves Gabrielle, and let them be there for her. Let her give birth not in a random barn or leaning against a tree in the middle of nowhere, but let her give birth inside her childhood home, where she's warm and comfortable and safe, where, even if the one person she truly wants by her side can't be there, everyone else can. And let it be an easy birth too, no complications, no worrying about either of them dying, just a few hours of contractions and then it's done. Let it be simple for her and in a place of love.

Let her have a son. While Gabrielle would love any child she bore, she's already had two daughters. While Eve is good and loving and by her side, Hope's taint still exists, and I can't help but think that would poison the relationship between Gabrielle and her daughter, if she had one. So let her have a son, both so Gabrielle can be free of the nightmares her daughter left her with and because, honestly, this all started with a little boy who never knew his mother's love, so let it end with one who does.

Let Gabrielle have a son, give Eve another brother, and let them be happy.

Let him grow up soft. Gabrielle's seen enough hardness in the world, has seen it and accepted it and incorporated it into her being so she wouldn't be destroyed by it, so let her son stay soft. Even when they're both sore from a day of riding on Argo (I highly doubt Gabrielle would be able to settle down, not permanently. Xena left her with a wanderlust of her own, and while Gabrielle settles for a while, it's hard. She's fine for a few months, perhaps the first year or so, when he can't sleep through the night and she's exhausted and nursing, but when he begins to settle, when she weans him off her breast and onto real food, she begins to twitch. Seeing the same people, the same places, day after day, just isn't her anymore. But she does it for him, until he sleeps soundly through the night, until he can handle solid foods, until he can safely stay on top of Argo so long as he sits in front and she keeps her arms around him. Four, maybe five years, and then she leaves. Gabrielle, longing for the road again, packs up herself and her son and they go), let him run through the clearing and pull on her skirt until she agrees to play, both of them laughing and running, their sores forgotten.

Let him lay in the bed roll, half asleep among the warm furs, while Gabrielle cleans her sais and staff and chakram, only to fully awaken and climb into her lap when she's done, asking for a story. Stories of the far off lands she was going to take him to, stories about her past, stories about Eve and the gods and Xena and how the two of them fell in love (because he knows. He can't see her, but he knows of the ghost that follows his mother from time to time, always at her side, and he knows just much she loves her). Let him sit by Gabrielle's side as she tries to write, smiling and sticking out his tongue when she playfully swats him away to do something else, like bother Argo, only for him to return a few minutes later so she could read the newest paragraph out to him. Let him tell her stories of his own, tales of heroes and villains he made up during those long hours traveling, and when Gabrielle's hand is still and her mind blank, the sadness and horror life has left her with making her own writing impossible, let her enjoy them, knowing that her son took after her and would tell the stories she never would.

Let him be soft. When a fight begins, let him always have a place to hide until Gabrielle calls him out, telling him it's safe, even when it doesn't look like it. Because bodies are on the ground and Gabrielle's covered in blood that isn't her own, and the smell of death starts to rise in his nose. Let him be soft, because despite that he's protected, protected and loved, and while the world hardened her, Gabrielle is determined not to let it harden her son. Let him be soft, for the both of them.

Let him be strong, strong enough that, when he, at seventeen, leaves his hiding place and picks up a sword, using it to run through the man about to kill his mother, it doesn't break him. He cries, yes, leans against Gabrielle in shock, shaking, as he stares at his blood stained hands and cries over the life he just took. He has nightmares, sees the man's face twisted in pain again and again as the steel slides into him, but he survives. The nightmares fade, he stops seeing blood every time he looks down, and it turns out that he's strong, strong enough to remain soft. He asks Gabrielle to train him, a dagger in his belt along with his writing tools, more like his mother than ever before. But he grew up in this life, even if he hadn't participated in it, and he resists hardening like Gabrielle did. He still writes with ease, after the nightmares fade, still laughs and smiles easily, still pokes and prods Gabrielle into the playful childhood games she taught him. He trusts and he loves and he cares, and even though he takes up a sword proper after Gabrielle trains him, pulling upon her own training from so long ago, he never loses who he is. He's strong, strong enough to fight for those who can't, strong enough to stand by Gabrielle's side, strong enough help, and still remain soft. Let him be strong.

But, most importantly, let him be good. Gabrielle gave birth to one daughter already, and she grew up to hate everything Gabrielle loved, who Gabrielle had to kill with her own hands. She had to watch her grandson die too, a sweet child who only wanted a single hug, but who would have grown to destroy the world. She's almost been convinced that nothing good can come from her line or her life, so let him prove her wrong. Even before he can fight, let him help those she fights for. Let him heal their wounds with his hands and their minds with his stories, let him help put out fires and rebuild the towns they saved from total destruction, helping to fix that they couldn't save.

And when he can, when he lifts his sword to fight those want to kill just for fun? He does so, fighting by Gabrielle's side, protecting the weak from the strong because he himself is strong enough to do so. And he is so full of light and love and kindness, offering even in the middle of battle a way out for those he fights, a way for them to be good people, promising to help if they just surrender. And he keeps his promise, helping those who let him, because he honestly wants to make the world a better place like his mother, both of his mothers (because even though he never knew Xena, she never knew him, he still loves her as much as he can, and he knows, just somehow knows that she loves him too. From dreamed conversations, from a feeling of warmth that he feels whenever he looks at the empty space by his mother's side, just some little knowledge he almost felt born with, he knew he was loved and loved her as well, as much as he loves Gabrielle) wanted to do themselves. And he's good enough to put up with the pain this sort of life offers.

He finds love one day, start a family of his own with his partner, and every day he keeps doing good, by himself and with his own love and children, all of them trying to change the world, to honor Gabrielle's life mission the best they can. And eventually, when Gabrielle is old and gray and it's truly time for her to go, when it's time for her to return to Xena's side, she's been proven wrong. Hope was a monster, chose to be one, but her son showed her that her line wasn't damned. He was good, his children, her grandchildren, are good, and she's sure that the great grandchild growing in her granddaughter's womb will be good too. Gabrielle passes knowing she left a little bit of light in the world, and she passes peacefully because of it. And before then, every day, her smile comes easier, her laughter's a little louder, and she finds it easier to live, because some good did come from her. So let him be good.

We know Gabrielle has another child, one day. These are my hopes for her, and I hope every single one of them came true. Because the Fates have stolen so much from her already, so just let her be happy.


End file.
